Stop Getting Angry

How does a teacher respond when a pupil does not follow an instruction? How can a teacher maintain order without becoming angry?

When a pupil does not follow my instructions, I reinforce positive behaviour in a friendly and fair way.

Introduction

Via the Self-Study tab, you can access all the teaching materials of Friendly and Fair Teaching (FFT). Read these three introductory pages before studying the five perspectives of FFT:

1. Introduction: Becoming a Friendly & Fair Teacher – a general introduction to Friendly and Fair Teaching.
2. Stop Getting Angry – the disadvantages of anger and the advantages of a friendly and fair approach (this page).
3. Tutorial – explanation of the structure of the teaching materials.

During Courses or Team Training sessions in Friendly and Fair Teaching, teachers respond to the FFT approach. Their experiences, along with those of experts, are incorporated into this website. In this way, FFT continues to develop.

With this information, anyone working in education — or planning to do so — can benefit from our materials without contacting us directly. The different elements of FFT can be added step by step to your own teaching practice. We share all information free of charge and without obligation. If you quote us, please include a reference to the source. If you have any questions, do not hesitate to contact us.

Too Many Stimuli

If teaching provides you with too many stimuli, it becomes difficult to remain reasonable and calm. When a pupil does not follow your instructions, you may become irritated. Over time, some pupils may begin to see you as an angry or unfriendly teacher. As a result, they take your instructions less seriously and continue the behaviour you are trying to stop.

Responding angrily then becomes counterproductive. A vicious circle develops in which anger and undesirable behaviour reinforce one another.

Breaking a prohibition is an act of freedom.” Van Gunsteren (2003) Herman

The stricter you are, the greater the chance that pupils will want to break your rules. Being too strict is counterproductive.

Friendly and Fair Teaching shows how you can stop getting angry. If you succeed in remaining calm, you retain more energy and can once again enjoy teaching.

Leaving Anger Behind

Figure: Stopping Getting Angry

FFT shows how to teach in a friendly and fair way. Leaving anger behind is seen as your personal decision, and FFT helps you move in that direction as follows:

1. The first four perspectives (Friendly, Clear, Lesson Content, and Observing) focus on creating a structure in which anger is no longer necessary. These perspectives also address how you can act as a role model for your pupils. In this way, your approach itself does not provoke disruption.
2. In the final perspective, Guiding and Adjusting, you learn how to guide and adjust pupils’ behaviour and effort in a friendly and clear way. Use the short guide in the Practice Period to leave anger behind within three lessons.

Change

Breaking ingrained patterns is difficult. Think of giving up smoking: it requires practice, perseverance, and support.

FFT helps you to break the vicious circle of undesirable behaviour and anger.

The Disappearance of Old (Tense) Patterns

Stopping would, I think, become less problematic if we were to develop a richer repertoire of ways of stopping and use them in a more cheerful and playful manner. Stopping as a positive act.” Van Gunsteren (2003) Herman

Friendly and Fair Teaching in the Classroom enables you gradually to replace “permissive or strict” with “friendly and fair”. Many emotionally charged reactions that stand in the way of connection are no longer necessary. You address pupils’ behaviour and effort in three steps:

Non-verbal → Verbal → Measure

The more friendly you remain while going through these three steps, the more quickly tension disappears.

When pupils notice, week after week, that you remain friendly and fair — that you have truly stepped out of the vicious circle — they will take your instructions seriously. They behave respectfully and apply themselves during the lesson.

Figure: Pupil describing the teacher’s attitude