Introduction: Becoming a Friendly & Fair Teacher
On this page
- A teacher’s influence
- Reflection and contemplation
- Introduction video
- Introduction
- The core of Friendly and Fair Teaching
- Preventive-Curative
- Creating a positive learning environment
- Applying the five perspectives
- Five link chain
- Impact society
- Bildung und Wissenschaft
- Importance of a positive learning environment
1.1 Positive Learning environment
1.2 No positive learning environment
1.3 Start with a positive learning environment - Roles of the teacher
- FFT’s maxims for teachers
- Starting with Friendly and Fair Teaching
- Body language part of two perspectives
- Clearing and transcending obstacles
6.1 Change
6.2 Benefit from peer experience
6.3 How do you deal with students with poor impulse control? - Implementing Friendly & Fair Teaching across the school
- Provenance friendly and fair teaching
8.1 Liemer list
8.2 Peace can be learned
8.3 Quotes - Summary
- Credits
Friendly and Fair Teaching (FFT) enables teachers in Primary and Secondary schools to integrate the five perspectives of FFT, which are essential requirements for effective education, in their teaching practice.
Friendly and Fair Teaching offers me a strategy for systematically identifying, reflecting on and solving problems. Together, FFT’s five perspectives form a model of teaching. I use FFT as a search tool to make sense of classroom events and to identify problems. By applying FFT’s perspectives, my students engage constructively, take responsibility, enjoy going to school and gain self-confidence.
A teacher’s influence
Read on our home page the quote of Haim Ginott
Reflection and contemplation
To develop your professional practice, requires of you as a teacher a commitment to continuous reflection and contemplation. Reflection on what seems to work well and what does not, and contemplation of changes that you might have to make in order to help your students learn more effectively.
As a teacher, you receive feedback in different forms from various quarters (e.g. Heads of Departments, leadership teams, external inspectors, examination bodies, parents, etc). Although this is beginning to change, it is still the case that the most neglected form of feedback is that which comes from pupils themselves. You, the effective teacher, reflect on all sources of feedback (whether informal or formal), including that which comes from pupils.
In trying to make sense of this you start to think about how you can improve aspects of your practice. This can be challenging and requires courage (especially for older teachers who are not trained to do this). The benefits for students from this process can be immense, and you will get more satisfaction form your work.
Introduction video
For more information check out our other introductory videos here.
Introduction to Friendly and Fair Teaching
You cannot expect students to know immediately how to behave. Of course. students will seek out boundaries. Nor can you expect a novice teacher to immediately know how a good lesson is supposed to go.
Both teachers and students benefit from guidelines for behaviour. Friendly and Fair Teaching gives teachers a framework for this to begin with, along with simple instructions on how to discuss this framework with the class. In addition, it is important for the team to be aware of how to make a cohesive community out of all those involved in a school.
After you have discussed the framework with the class, your job is to demonstrate behaviour that fits the framework yourself and to reinforce positive behaviour with students who do not conform to the framework. Everyone is accountable to the framework. That makes Friendly and Fair Teaching ‘fair’. ‘Reflecting on teaching’ consists of five ‘perspectives’ that deal with both teacher and student behaviour and optimal conditions for students to work well.
If you limit the space for students to disrupt the lesson and clearly state how you respond to a disruption, your students will occasionally check whether you do what you say. If it turns out that you are acting in a fair, equitable way, seeking the boundary no longer pays off. For the students, nothing is left but to engage in the profession. You make it attractive for your students to get to work: you reward their efforts with ever higher grades. You offer students who successfully present themselves in class the opportunity to present themselves to a larger audience, in school and beyond.
By alternating ‘Teacher-centred education‘ with ‘Student-centred education‘, first you take the initiative and then you let your students take the initiative. In doing so you are a model to your students on how to relate to the world (Goal FFT).
‘Reflecting on teaching‘ is similar to driving a car. It is something you can learn. Friendly and Fair Teaching is a peaceful parenting style that is engaging, understanding, accepting, directing, inviting, and trusting. It is a transparent style of parenting in which you set reasonable boundaries in a fair manner. Students feel valued with this parenting style.
The core of Friendly and Fair Teaching
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Friendly and Fair rather than lenient or strict
Friendly and Fair Teaching replaces “lenient” or “strict” with “friendly and Fair” and gives five perspectives on how to go about it. Frowning, looking angry, warning, threatening, yelling, taking them to task, lecturing and sending out is no longer necessary.
Friendlyness and fairness ensure that everyone gets along well which contributes to a positive learning environment. -
Take capabilities of a student as a starting point
When inspiring your students you take their personal capabilities as a starting point. See Dealing with Differences
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Collaboration
When it comes to creating a positive learning environment, there are strong connections between raising children in a family and leading a group or class. In both cases, adults work together. If those adults work together in harmony, the child/student benefits. An example of this on this website: collaboration between teacher and a senior member of staff.
In the family
Parents face the following responsibilities in raising children:
- Nutrition, Nurturing and Connection. Attention is focused on physical and emotional well-being here and now and is therefore unconditional. Keywords are caring, empathic, emotion, connected/connecting, kind and affirming.
- Creating and maintaining facilities and structures: what is needed or desired, what can we bring about, what do we need for this, how do we get and keep it working and what is everyone’s role/task in this. This also includes the preconditions of living together: what are the rules, what should be done and within what limits. Keywords are intellectual, comprehensive, analytical, structuring, clear, limiting and enforcing.
In families with two parents, both parents address both responsibilities. If there is only one parent in a family, both responsibilities fall on the shoulders of this one parent.
In a non-violent approach, parents and children look for what they have in common and for reasons to help and support each other. The parents accept that the children’s shortcomings probably stem from the shortcomings of the parents themselves.” Arun Ghandi (2017)
In education
It is not only in families with one parent that this phenomenon of bearing all responsibility exists. In education, if you are in front of a group, you are solely responsible for your students. You then fulfil the role of educator and are also responsible for both tasks listed in the left column. This is a big responsibility and not every role naturally suits you.
- You can take on the caring, empathic, friendly role. If this lacks clarity, perhaps for fear of confrontation, you are too indulgent, and the students lack boundaries. This leads to disruptions of the lesson. Boundaries are crossed at the expense of you and the group.
- You can unilaterally choose the intellectual, structuring and limiting role. If caring lacks, perhaps for fear of appearing vulnerable, you are too strict and the relationship between you and the students is cool. You do not invite students to connect with you, so they do not conform to your needs and those of the group. As a result, disruption of your lessons arise and students cross boundaries at your and the group’s expense.
Preventive – curative
Figure 11: preventive and curative
In creating a positive learning environment, FFT distinguishes between preventive and curative. The preventive part is in italics below, the curative part is in bold. The preventive part is larger than the curative part. With creating a positive learning environment, you make sure that you:
- do not cause noise yourself.
- change strict into clear.
- see kindness as a strength.
- combine kindness and fairness.
- alternate teacher-centred education and student-centred education. With the latter students take ownership of their own learning process.
- students can concentrate.
- manage positive behaviour in a relaxed way.
In all this you avoid being both too friendly and too strict.
Creating a positive learning environment
You determine (partly) the content of your lessons. The school (your department) and the government also partly determine what your lessons look like.
Before you can start teaching, you must submit a DBS. The government requires schools to have their students sign a bullying protocol. None of this guarantees an attractive learning environment where your students work well together and form a cohesive group.
When you create a positive learning environment, three elements are important: structure, freedom, and responsibility:
1 Structure
The structure you provide consists of:
- A framework that you introduce to your students.
- Teaching the entire class (Teacher-centred education teaching)
- Time for students to work independently including apps that students use to practice and to assess themselves (Student-centred education).
- Mutual assessment: you learn from your students’ feedback.
- Part of your behaviour management strategies are two visible folders: The abacus and the folder for managing expectations. These folders help you to preserve a positive learning environment.
2 Freedom
In mutual trust, you give your students freedom. During independent work, you give your students the freedom to determine and prioritize their own activities. They are then in a position to:
- discover themselves.
- make choices and set goals.
- work at their own pace.
3 Responsibility
- You set a good example because you are aware of your influence.
- Everyone is aware and accountable of the framework.
- When your students are working independently your ask them to handle the freedom offered in a responsible way AND you trust them to work seriously with the different topics (starting with the framework).
- If a student cannot cope with freedom offered, you coach this student. See video How the brain works
If any one of positive learning environment points are negative, the house of cards collapses:
- Without structure there is no education,
- without freedom there is no autonomy,
- without responsibility there is no incentive to set a course.
The more positive your learning environment, the less need there is to reinforce positive behaviour. In a positive learning environment, the relationship with your students improves. Then students are less inclined to disrupt lessons. Every student gets the opportunity to develop (gradually) into:
A social, intrinsically motivated student who makes choices, takes responsibility, and manages himself and others. This student is the master of himself.
Applying the five perspectives
With a framework visible on the wall, you ask your students to concentrate. The framework refers to the perspectives: ‘Establishing a friendly tone‘ and ‘Establishing fairness‘.
You observe your students and yourself (perspective four).
- You compliment students who go to work.
- When a student who does not adhere to the framework you reinforce positive behaviour (Behaviour management strategies).
By observing an by reacting on what you see, you avoid teaching too non-committal or Laissez faire. The more experienced you are as a teacher, the more you can make your students responsible for their own learning and thereby avoiding being authoritarian (Establishing educational goals).
When avoiding both authoritarian and laissez faire you balance between order and chaos:
Too much disorder is downright dangerous. Too much order makes one vulnerable in the long run by reducing adaptability and creativity.” (Mark Mieras).
Focus on one perspective
A friendly and fair teacher avoids: |
A friendly and fair teacher |
Inefficient reinforcing of positive behaviour: warnings, sending students out. | reinforces positive behaviour with body language, Tips and ‘Future behaviour letter’. |
Too little effective class time | involves educational goals such as: Qualification, Socialization and Subjectivation.
makes students responsible for their own learning. |
Intended effect of FFT
A friendly and fair teacher avoids: |
A friendly and fair teacher |
Inefficient reinforcing of positive behaviour: many warnings, sending students out. | reinforces positive behaviour with the Ladder of action |
Too little effective class time | involves educational goals such as: Qualification, Socialization and Subjectivation.
makes students responsible for their own learning. |
Five link chain
The five perspectives of Friendly and Fair Teaching can be seen on the right as a chain with five links in which each link is indispensable. If links are missing, then your teaching is less effective. You notice this when you negate the positive impact of the five perspectives.
- If you are not friendly, students do not want to work voluntarily for you.
- If you are not fair, your students do not feel treated as equals.
- If you always take the initiative, there is little room for an individual student to set a course.
- If you do not observe, you react too late.
- If you do not enforce positive behaviour, the number of disruptions increases.
Impact on society
If the team of a school knows how important it is to make a close-knit community out of everyone involved, and if all students look back on a school period in which they were approached friendly and fair by their teachers and fellow students, if they were able to take initiatives at school, were seen by their teachers and, if necessary, reinforced to positive behaviour, then it is to be expected that the students will make a mature and valuable contribution to society as citizens. In doing so, the school helps shape the society of the future.
The better qualified a student is, the more chance of individual success in society. That is why qualification is central to education. It should be noted that the success of one may come at the expense of the success of another. To avoid the latter, FFT advocates paying attention in education, in addition to qualification, to:
- Socialisation
- Subjectivation
When you incorporate these three educational goals into your teaching, you allow everyone to develop to their fullest potential. Students who experience inclusiveness at school will continue to do so in society.
Bildung und Wissenschaft
In this quote Sue Prideaux discusses Humbold’s ideas on Bildung and Wissenschaft. This ties in with the use of students’ potential just mentioned:
Knowledge was considered evolutionary in nature, and with it went ‘Bildung’, the evolution of the order seeker himself: a process of spiritual growth through the acquisition of knowledge that Humboldt described as a harmonious interaction between the student’s own personality and nature that culminated in a state of inner freedom and wholeness within a larger context.” Prideaux (2018), Sue
To learn anything, it is necessary to dare to accept that what we think we know – including our most deeply held beliefs – may be wrong, or at least naive: shadows on the walls of Plato’s cave.” Rovelli, Carlo (2014)
Addition of FFT: For the staff of a school, it is important to learn how to make a cohesive community out of all those involved in a school.
Friendly and Fair Teaching- in the spirit of Humbold – is constantly gaining new experiences with courses and contacts, schools and literature. Previous assumptions are abandoned, and new assumptions embraced. This process is visible in our annually updated course book. This course book is now only available in Dutch. We expect that in 2024 an English version will be available.
1. Importance of a positive learning environment
1.1 Positive learning environment
Above we described how to create a positive learning environment. What if there is no positive learning environment?
1.2 No positive learning environment
Bullying, abuse of power or harsh language put pressure on the relationship between students and the relationship between you and your students. The resulting anger, conflict and disruption of class complicates your teaching. You find it difficult to concentrate and your lesson is less effective. Every teacher has to deal with this to a greater or lesser extent.
Figure 4: Scared and angry
1.3 Start with a positive learning environment
How do you prepare a student to be a qualified, creative, social and caring citizen? What is the secret of turning a group of students into a cohesive and social group? Friendly and Fair Teaching guides you through a personal course, Via our ‘Tutorial‘ you have the opportunity to work with these five perspectives through self-study,
- Creating a positive learning environment starts with reflecting on your teaching. See motivational coach with its questionnaire.
- FFT recommends to first establishing a friendly tone by omitting anger.
- Incorporate general goal of FFT in your approach to teaching.
- Introduce the framework: ‘Friendly and Fair’ together with the Ladder of action
- Use neutral actions to reinforce positive behaviour: Ladder of action. Taking the steps of the ladder enables you to teach in a relaxed way. Warning students or sending students out of class will no longer be necessary.
To create a positive learning environment requires time, patience, and practice before the effect of the change is felt. The more perspectives you combine over time, the stronger the effect. Assume that within your teaching practice you can always give attention to new aspects. By doing so, you break existing patterns and teaching remains an adventure.
2. Roles of the teacher
You can play several roles as a teacher:
- Host
- Presenter
- Didactician
- Educator
- Coach
- Terminator
In addition, ‘Friendly and Fair Teaching’ distinguishes these roles:
- Designer of lessons
- Designer of a method
- Tour guide of an organized trip (Teacher-centred education). Learn more about your roles in teacher-centred education.
- Roadside assistance (Student-centred education). During independent work, you fulfill the role of “roadside assistance” for your students. Read more about your roles during independent work.
- Gardener. During the time you make available for students to work independently, you act as a gardener.
- Motivational coach
Following role 1 and 2: As a teacher you can use existing lessons and methods. In addition, you are free to add your own devised elements.
Following roles 3 and 4: Tour guide and Roadside assistance are an elaboration of an interview with Dick Bruinzeel. Dick uses this metaphor: “From organized trip to personal trek. Hidden in that metaphor is a gradual shift in emphasis: From joint organized trip to a more a personal trek for each student.
3. FFT’s maxims for teachers
‘Friendly and Fair Teaching’ distinguishes these maxims (useful pointers for all teachers).
- Teaching is a game with rules. Everyone is accountable to these rules. That makes them fair.
- You have high expectations of your students.
- Your end goal is a group of motivated, cooperative students, who are proud of their work.
- You observe your students as well as yourself. This is at the basis of all your actions and is what makes your teaching fair. You respond to what is happening now.
- You create opportunities for students to self-direct according to their ability.
- Student-centred education is more successful if there is a good relationship between you and your students. Therefore, you are always friendly and fair and avoid coming across as angry, strict or domineering.
- You alternate teacher-centred education and student-centred education.
- No matter how you teach, disruption can always occur. Then it is good to know how to solve it: The first steps of ‘behaviour management strategies, have a preventive effect. The next steps have a curative effect (preventive-curative)
Also have a look at these maxims of Murray Schafer:
2. In education, failures are more important than successes. There is nothing so dismal as a success story.
3. Teach on the verge of peril.
4. There are no more teachers. There is just a community of learners.
5. Do not design a philosophy of education for others. Design one for yourself. A few others may wish to share it with you.
6. For the 5-year-old, art is life and life is art. For the 6-year-old, life is life and art is art. This first schoolyear is a watershed in the child’s history: a trauma.
7. The old approach: Teacher has information: student has empty head. Teacher’s objective: to push information into student’s empty head. Observations: at outset teacher is a fathead: at conclusion student is a fathead.
8. On the contrary a class should be an hour of a thousand discoveries. For this to happen, the teacher and the student should first discover one another.
9. Why is it that the only people who never matriculate from their own courses are teachers?
10. Always teach provisionally: only God knows for sure.” Schafer (1975), R. Murray
4. Starting with Friendly and Fair Teaching
Friendly and Fair Teaching provides you with a strategy for improving your education systematically using five perspectives. Together, these five perspectives form a model of teaching that you use as a search tool to make sense of things and to identify problems and see how something works (Heuristics).
Reflecting on your teaching starts with our studying our overview and using our questionnaire. This questionnaire helps you finding a starting point.
For teachers working with Friendly and Fair Teaching for the first time, this is a process of trying and adjusting. Teachers familiar with FFT, regardless of the dynamics of the group, can start immediately with a well-run, interesting lesson. These experienced teachers create a positive learning environment on the one hand by giving explanations (Teacher-centred education) and on the other hand by allowing students to plan independently and work at their own pace (Student-centred education).
5. Body language part of two perspectives
FFT distinguishes two ways to use body language. These two ways recur at different perspectives:
- When students are cooperative you are ‘Communicating through gestures‘ (Perspective: Establishing a friendly tone).
- When a student disrupts the lesson the first step you take is ‘Using body language‘ (Perspective: Behaviour management strategies).
Both ways of using body language are united in an additional chapter ‘Using Body Language: Advice for teachers‘. By combining nonverbal cues with verbal explanations, you speak two languages at once. This makes students pay closer attention: if they want to understand what you mean, they must both watch and listen.
6. Clearing and overcoming obstacles
There are undoubtedly mindsets that hold you back from being friendly as well as fair. Get rid of them. Ask yourself: What stops me from being friendly? And what stops me from being fair? There are also obstacles for students. How do you clear them and transcend them?
Check for yourself:
To what extent does friendly for me equate to (for me, is it connected to or am I confusing it with): indulgent, accommodating, cautious, conflict-avoiding, fearful, passive, tolerant, submissive, favouring, satisfying, keeping happy, keeping friendly, not antagonizing, not antagonizing, avoiding confrontation, letting it go over your head, pleasing?
Can I be fair and at the same time stay away from: strict, harsh, frowning, threatening, angry, aggressive, overly assertive, rigid, gruff, unapproachable, pedantic, coercive, belittling, condescending, lecturing, demanding obedience, exercising power or my will is law?
6.1 Change
If you do what you did, you get what you got. If you want to get something different, you will have to do something different: you must change.
Persistence is necessary for change. During a change, you will face obstacles such as your attachment to a familiar role or behavioural pattern or mechanically adopting a role without wanting to. We experience it in all kinds of situations: we can think and see how rewarding it would be to behave differently and colour our role differently, but our current behaviour and our current colouring simply feel like an old coat that fits like a glove.
Change, no matter how rewarding, always brings discomfort and also goodbyes, loose ends, mishaps, ambiguity, acceptance perils, not-knowing, misunderstanding, one’s own resistance, setbacks, alignment problems and so on. These side effects make it attractive to refrain from change and continue with existing patterns or make it attractive to quickly return to old patterns when things get tough. Then it is important to persevere and keep searching fot solutions.
6.2 Benefit from peer experience
Friendly and Fair Teaching offers a range of behavioural and role options that are rewarding. But these, of course, come with all the disadvantages that come with change. How do you resolve this dilemma? In two ways:
First, you can draw guidance from the experiences of those who have gone before you in this change and who have worked with and tested the five perspectives of Friendly and Fair Teaching (See testimonials). Important new insights for Friendly and Fair Teaching often come from trainees and experts. We list new insights at the bottom of each perspective under ‘Credits’. There you can see which student or expert contributed a new aspect to FFT.
If colleagues give you this tip: “Start strict and then slowly let go of the reins”, FFT recommends disregarding this advice. Being strict while encouraging intrinsic motivation in your students is a difficult combination. It can work, but it can also fail.
6.3 How do you deal with students with poor impulse control?
Students with poor impulse control are willing to conform to your framework and managing expectations, but fail to do so because of their own impulses. First direct these students with gestures and body language. In doing so, you avoid calling their names. By remaining friendly, you reassure, give confidence and support students in their efforts to do better.
If gestures do notwork, you can ask (outside the group), “Where would you focus best in this class?” Arrange the spot the student indicates. Evaluate and arrange another spot if necessary. You can ask at each beginning of the lesson, “What goal do you set this lesson? Are you going to meet it?”
- What succeeded? What was the reason for that?
- What failed? What was the reason for that?
You can also agree on a personal gesture with the student in case the student is too busy.
Tips when teaching students with poor impulse control
- Give these students a personal assignment that they can work on independently. Match this assignment to their talents and make the assignment achievable for them. In this way, you steer them toward an experience of success.
- Let these students occasionally work outside the classroom, preferably under supervision. This also gives the class a break.
- Give these students a place at the back of the class. They then have an overview and do not have to turn around to see everyone. When they see that everyone is working with concentration, they probably copy the good example set by fellow students.
- Let them take a walk around if they have too much energy.
7. Implementing Friendly & Fair Teaching across the school
The chapter ‘Implementing Friendly & Fair Teaching across the school‘ describes different form of collaboration:
- Friendly and Fair teaching, with the help a senior member of staff, enables you reinforce positive behaviour with students. Before starting with FFT, you make agreements about this with the staff. If teacher, senior member of staff and parents work together, students benefit.
- Consider starting with FFT with several colleagues simultaneously (School-wide implementation).
- The initiative for the implementation of FFT can come from teachers, school leadership, students, teacher education, from parents or from the Educational Support Staff.
FFT is collaborating with different teacher training programmes.
8. Provenance friendly and fair teaching
The knowledge gathered for Friendly and Fair Teaching came from teachers who first shared their expertise with each other and then decided to pass this knowledge on to future generations. Not only teachers’ experiences but also experts’ experiences underlie Friendly and Fair Teaching. For example, Gert Biesta has given us important pointers that can be found throughout the site. Read more about us and about the team behind FFT.
The content of this site is based on personal experience, user experience, available literature, material found on the Internet, and expert opinions. All relevant information is related to one of five perspectives and arranged for teachers in a user-friendly way.
Friendly and Fair Teaching feels closely related to:
8.1 Liemer List
The Liemer List came about through hundreds of conversations with students in Primary education about how they learn best (Netherlands, Arnhem area). Viewed more broadly, with the ‘Seven Promises’ we (student, teacher, supervisor and educational support staff) give each other trust and express our expectations among ourselves and give each other the opportunity to realize those expectations. Friendly and Fair Teaching advises you to teach from these intentions:
- We see who you are, and you notice we believe in you.
- We have grand expectations of each other.
- Learning is fun and can happen anywhere.
- Your learning environment is engaging, inspiring and challenging.
- You always have a choice.
- If we can do it together, we do not do it alone.
- You know what you need to learn and what you can do with it.
8.2 Peace can be learned
Friendly and Fair Teaching recognizes itself in the booklet ‘Peace can be learned’. Hence, we gift this booklet during the course and quote from it during the course (Reybrouck (2017).
8.3 Quotes
Literature is consulted for this site. Quotations that add to our method or that shed new light on it are listed with reference.
9. Summary
Friendly and Fair Teaching helps you to lead by example: friendly, fair, helpful, social, and creative. Your students encounter society during their time at school and become accustomed to taking on responsibility. If they maintain this attitude as citizens, society as a whole benefits.
When you get started with FFT
- Trust and partnership develop between you and your students.
- Students are less likely to disrupt class.
- students accept that you reinforce positive behaviour.
10. Credits
Nick Sorensen, Emeritus Professor of Education Bath Spa University |
The name of this site ‘Friendly and Fair Teaching’ was conceived by Sorensen. Before the translation of the content in English, Sorensen helped translating the terms we use in our overview. |
Gert Biesta | For the current design of our Friendly and Fair Teaching, we are indebted to Gert Biesta. Gert Biesta is a professor and educational pedagogue. He gave us the tip to put the emphasis on establishing order. Gert Biesta: “Who is responsible for order in the classroom? And isn’t it more about making and giving order than it is about keeping order?”. We now call ‘establishing order’: Reflecting on your teaching. Teachers reflect on their teaching to create a positive learning environment. |
Rense Houwing |
Earlier, Rense fully edited twice the Friendly and Fair Teaching site. He pointed out to us that ‘pay attention to body language’ and ‘pay attention to spoken language’ are outside the other action-oriented perspectives. We now call both observations ‘Observing learning’. He also made the distinction between Reinforcing positive behaviour: first steps (this does not cost a student time) and Reinforcing positive behaviour: next steps (This costs a student time). |
Jan Wolters – Teacher trainer at the conservatory of music. |
“When it comes to keeping order, you’re already too late.” |